This illness is passing, but it has left me lethargic, nauseated, and devoid of all energy. It seems to have sucked out the motivation, appetite, and pleasant mood out of me. Not only that, but it has left me shaken in some way (and sometimes literally shaking/jittery inside), where I can't seem to avoid thinking bad thoughts and sleep has not been restful. There is this sense of impending doom, and it has been disturbing me. Exercise used to help me a little in such situations, but this time, I just don't have the energy. Instead, I decided to go for a stroll and visit a familiar place that has some hustle-and-bustle I could hopefully absorb a little of.
Having been so sick, it tends to change your perspective a little, like what if not much time was left? And like what a shame that I have not done a lot of what I would like to in life, or enjoyed more days. And how sad that a lot of time has been spent on negative things, like fighting and being stressed out.
People were enjoying the afternoon and evening all around me. I just watched and was happy that they were. I wanted to tell them, hug your parents a little tighter. Hold your loved one every chance you get. Say I love you a little more often. Take a picture of the sunset and cherish the memory being together.
1 comments:
It is somehow same feeling as mine. Didnt know how to escape from cage of doom.
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