Odyssey | noun | od•ys•sey | \ ˈä-də-sē \
1 : a long wandering or voyage usually marked by many changes of fortune
2 : an intellectual or spiritual wandering or quest
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Sunday, November 03, 2019

Cherish

Sunday, November 3, 2019

This illness is passing, but it has left me lethargic, nauseated, and devoid of all energy.  It seems to have sucked out the motivation, appetite, and pleasant mood out of me.  Not only that, but it has left me shaken in some way (and sometimes literally shaking/jittery inside), where I can't seem to avoid thinking bad thoughts and sleep has not been restful.  There is this sense of impending doom, and it has been disturbing me.  Exercise used to help me a little in such situations, but this time, I just don't have the energy.  Instead, I decided to go for a stroll and visit a familiar place that has some hustle-and-bustle I could hopefully absorb a little of.

Wednesday, October 30, 2019

Still Sick

Wednesday, October 30, 2019

Almost a week now, and I'm still not feeling well.  I'm losing a bit of weight, as I have not been able to eat much, since there is no one around.  When I am not so busy with work, I think I will need to get some lab tests done at the hospital since other symptoms have cropped up in the past couple of days, particularly a deep, dry cough and heart/chest discomfort.

Sunday, October 27, 2019

Sick

Sunday, October 27, 2019

There is no one around, and I have been sick for three days straight and counting, with fever that has not yet gone back to normal temperature, bone/joint pains, achy muscles, excruciating lower back/kidney pain, migraine, eye pain/sensitivity to light, and inability to stay upright for very long.  It is one of the worst I've felt, if not the worst, in terms of pain from a fever-accompanied illness.  Fortunately, my friend Orlan has been looking after me throughout this time; otherwise, I'm not sure what would have happened as I don't think I would have been able to obtain food.  I've been trying to eat some liver, as I'm not sure where to obtain soup-based food that is not prepared with MSG.  Maybe someone has some ideas.  I'd like to avoid taking any medicine if possible, but the work week is about to start again, so I may have to.  We'll see.

Tuesday, October 15, 2019

Paradox

Tuesday, October 15, 2019

Try as I may, I am having a hard time focusing these days (months, actually... almost half a year now, and it just keeps twisting and piling up).  There is a deep sadness and disappointment that clouds over me as I ponder upon life...  You try your best and give it your all, but life just doesn't seem to reciprocate, sometimes bringing you the opposite, and even hitting you from all sides.  It's a disheartening paradox; you cannot even fathom.  Only God knows (or maybe he doesn't) how I'm still, relatively, here.

Friday, August 30, 2019

Heart of the Earth

Friday, August 30, 2019

I have not been feeling my best and luck has not been going my way, but my mind is still fairly intact and my body is somehow still holding up -- enough so that I had the energy today to go on a long walk to meditate.


Sunday, June 30, 2019

Sanctuary

Sunday, June 30, 2019

I have not been feeling well lately.  My eating has not been substantial for the past few days, and sleep has not been restful.  I have a pounding headache, and my back is killing me.  Makes me feel like an old man at times.  But at the end of the day, rain or shine (or super typhoons), I've got to do my very best to remain level-headed and try to keep up with work, even when feeling down.

Wednesday, April 24, 2019

Walking to the End of the Earth

Wednesday, April 24, 2019

I've had a string of bad luck lately that have gotten me feeling down.  But interestingly, earthquakes struck the past couple of days, and they have given me some perspective, that I should still be thankful.  Grateful that I'm alive and healthy, and appreciative of what I have.

Monday, April 15, 2019

Fever and Night's Solitude

Sunday, April 14, 2019

I went out on a past-midnight walk/run, wanting to break a sweat and shake off this deep cough.  The night's solitude and the fever were temporarily therapeutic, partly dissipating thoughts that were occupying my mind.


Thursday, February 21, 2019

Binangonan - Kalbaryo

Thursday, February 21, 2019

Well, it's been a while.  Thank you to all who remembered me and greeted me a happy birthday last month, as well as to those who have sent messages regarding my inactivity for the past several months.  I guess I've been busy, with work and other things.  And I've been battling some ongoing health issues.

I don't know why motivation to update the blog suddenly blew my way, despite being so busy and tired.  I guess I've always tended to gravitate towards the blog when there's no one else to talk to.  Maybe in a way, I'm talking to myself, and in another way, I'm channeling my energy towards something that I used to really enjoy doing and something that's somewhat positive and creative.

Today, or yesterday I should say, I took a trip to U.P. Diliman to visit my old friend Simon.  It was last Summer since I last visited him.  I found him, his daughter, and his flower shop there still doing well.  I know he's always busy now with his family and his business, but I tried to convince him to go on a small adventure, like we used to.  Problem was, no one was available to take care of his daughter, Hope.  So, we decided, we'd take her with us :)


Thursday, July 05, 2018

Ember

Thursday, July 5, 2018

I wrote an article a few years back, entitled "The Wind and the Fire".  I spoke metaphorically about an inspirational time in my life.  I was the fire.  And the wind had breathed new motivation in me.  Yet, over the years, the caressing breeze and harmony turned into violent storms and tornadoes.  Regardless, the fire in me was able to withstand, albeit barely at times, all the torrential havoc.

Thursday, June 14, 2018

Monsoon

Thursday, June 14, 2018

Wave after wave, the rains slam down.  There are times, where you believe clear skies are finally ahead, only to be shocked that you were dead wrong.  In fact it is during these times, where you may lower your guard somewhat, that the blow knocks you down and hurts the most.

Unfortunately, some people don't get back up or survive the ravaging from the typhoons of bad times and depression.

Old House

Thursday, June 14, 2018

This post has a melancholy feel to it, for me.  Particularly because my grandmother has memories living and working at this place.  And today it is like a skeleton of its former self, so devoid of life.  It makes me wonder what it was like during its prime.  But more, it makes me regret that period of time has gone and is no more.  It is now just a memory, living only in the mind of my grandmother, and those she has told her stories to, such as myself.

Friday, June 01, 2018

Eclipse

Friday, June 1, 2018

A few weeks ago, I met this Aeta in Subic.  We made a fire together using just bamboo.  He may look silly in this photo, but he has a lot of admirable traits.

He is proud of who he naturally is.  He has not forgotten where he came from, and how he got to where he is today.  He understands the value of hard work.  And whatever I could offer, he genuinely showed appreciation.  These are some qualities that earn my respect.

Unfortunately, most of those who encircle me do not share the same perspectives or appreciation for good principles; and my influence, for whatever reason, is weak upon them, if not countered or ignored completely.  Oftentimes, my say is worthless.

Wednesday, May 23, 2018

Pain

Wednesday, May 23, 2018


(Tagalog and English versions below)

May gusto ako sabihin na makasakaling makatulong sa iba.  Lahat tayo ay merong mga kahinaan, at alam ko yung sa akin.  Isa sa mga kahinaan ko ay yung inklinasyon na saktan ang sarili (na ngayon ay bihira ko na gawin, dahil malinaw naman na hindi ito mabuti para sa atin, kaso nga lang ito ay nangangailangan ng matibay na kalooban para iwasan).  At gusto kong gumawa ng ilang mga paglilinaw tungkol dito sa pag-asa na makakatulong ito sa iba.

Hindi lahat ng nananakit ng sarili ay pareho, at may magkakaibang mga dahilan. Hindi lahat ay baliw at hindi lahat ay gusto magpakamatay.

Monday, May 21, 2018

Nothing

Monday, May 21, 2018


Hindi ako ganung kasamang tao para marapat ang lahat ng sakit, paghihirap, kalupitan, at walang pusong pagtatrato.  Umiiyak at sumisigaw ako, nagmamakaawa at humihingi ng saklolo, pero walang nakakarinig.  Kaya alam ko walang Diyos.

Ang ibig sabihin ng pangalan kong "David Eric" ay "minamahal na hari", pero hindi ako minamahal at hindi rin ako hari.  Wala akong halaga.  Anyway, ayaw ko ng kausap, ayaw ko ng tulong, gusto ko lang mapag-isa.  Sinasabi ko ito, dahil hindi ko alam kung kailan ako makakapag-post ulit.

Friday, May 04, 2018

Flowers at Dangwa

Friday, May 4, 2018

Simon's sister had passed away, and so Simon, Hope (Simon's daughter), and I visited the Dangwa fresh flower market to purchase some flowers for the funeral at Ilocos Norte.

I don't really know what to write about for this post.  A few things popped into my mind, like:  how flowers are just instruments used for attraction and selfish means for plants;  how there is potentially no afterlife and we should have utmost value for this life so as not to screw up this one shot;  how we should heed warnings and signs because full-fledged major mistakes can leave scars in our lives that cannot be undone and could potentially be crippling or fatal (if not for our lives, also for relationships and other aspects);  how things are more genuine and simpler when money or material is not involved;  how a bunch of flowers cannot really solve problems;  how some flower stems have thorns and poison;  how some people cannot or will not understand because they care more about themselves than they do for you;  how I'm just smiling for the camera when in reality I've been having a bad few weeks...  Lots of things.  But I'm not really in the mood to write about any of these in more detail at the moment.

The Dump Site


Friday, May 4, 2018
Apart from touring the dump site, the walk I took on this day was a pleasant one.  This was in the middle of the rainy season, and it had just rained a couple of hours before.  It was relatively cool with enough clouds to provide enough shade, but not too gray for it to turn gloomy.

The photograph I took of the white gumamela/hibiscus flower with the dew/droplets of water is one of my favorites.  In a way, I like to think of it as symbolic, perhaps of the peace, serenity, purity, and innocence of that time period.  There are some moments you can no longer return to, and you cannot transfer the state to the present time either, no matter how much you'd like to.  Once ruined, sometimes ruined forever.

Wednesday, April 18, 2018

Simplicity

Wednesday, April 18, 2018

It's funny how years ago I had so little money, but so much time to myself.  And now, I find myself close to the other end of the spectrum, where I am doing better in terms of my career, but don't have enough time to really enjoy myself.


It was a rare occasion on this day to get some extra time to myself and to be able to go out beyond my normal vicinity of travel.  Disappointingly, it had to take an undesirable crisis for it to happen, but that's another story.

Coconuter Flowers and Gifts

Wednesday, April 18, 2018

For those who have been readers of the blog since close to the beginning, you may recall my good friend Simon.  Well, I am proud to say that he now runs a flower shop business, and he named his business after what started our friendship--Coconuter.

The Forest

Wednesday, April 18, 2018

As you read through some of my posts, you will notice that I sometimes inject commentary regarding health.  I am still health-conscious today, and it's been quite a journey of what I've learned through the years.  I remember during the time of this post, I was experimenting with certain foods available in the area (and observing their effects on me), one of which was raw carabao's milk, which I would wake up early in the morning for, in order to purchase from a nearby market.

I would also often go into the forest and nearby mountains to gather fruit that I would find.  For example, mangoes, langka/jackfruit, suha/grapefruit, pineapples, papayas, and of course, coconuts!

I was such a proponent of the natural state of things, that you will read below that I recommended drinking water from streams.  Well, opinions and theories change, and mine regarding this topic has also.  Though natural water sources are typically a good source of minerals, I would take caution or avoid drinking directly from them, because pollution and toxins are so rampant these days; plus you want to be careful about microbes in the water as well.

Ploughing the Fields

Wednesday, April 18, 2018

Despite the mishap regarding the theft, these were still some relatively good times.  I was enjoying myself, despite the circumstances.  The environment in general was still new to me for the most part.  The charm of the countryside still alluring, and it remains so for me even today;  I just can't live there anymore, because I have to work, as well as other complications, which can happen over time as life proceeds to become complex as we grow older.

The Mountain Village

Wednesday, April 18, 2018

I was quite fortunate to have gotten my digital camera back, and only in a matter of days.  But I was even more fortunate that I was not harmed during the theft, as the thieves were reportedly known in the area for carrying guns.

As I look back, I think it was also around this time when my naivety gradually started to dissolve, and my view of the people around began to worsen drastically.  I would become short-tempered and it would not be uncommon for me to confront and explode on locals whom I thought were trying to fool me or harm me.  To this day, that I write this entry, I am still the same way--pent up with frustrations and a lot of anger from years of ill happenings.

Bad Things Have Happened


Wednesday, April 18, 2018

I still remember the night this happened.  I never thought it could happen and never experienced something like this, so it was completely unanticipated.

It was past midnight--the exact time I can no longer recall--but I was just sleeping, like any other regular night in the bukid/countryside.  But this was not like any other night.  My senses detected a foreign sound interjecting with the normal solo hum of the electric fan.

Wednesday, March 28, 2018

Frankenstein

Wednesday, March 28, 2018

It seems that the older I get, the more complicated things become, and the uglier I see the world to be.  Even if one tries to do good, many times it is for nothing.  The evil around us just drowns it out.  I could die right now, and it would not matter much to even those who seem closest to me.  My use to them would be no more, that is all; and my body and mind no longer able to be owned or manipulated.

Their hearts grown cold, if not hardened to stone, by greed, deceit, betrayal, envy, revenge, cruelty, and selfishness, among other negative elements that murder good, peace, harmony, growth, happiness, and love.

Talahib

Wednesday, March 28, 2018

I remember the talahib weeds quite well.  I've gotten cut by their sharp blades many times during mountain climbs, which is why I've learned to wear pants when venturing into the mountains.

I mentioned having a shovel with no handle in this post, yet still using it for chopping.  Improvisations like that were necessary during these times.  Make do with what you have, so to speak.

Breakfast

Wednesday, March 28, 2018

For the most part, I still do largely agree with what I wrote here.  However, it was a bit simplified, which I'm sure I meant to do at the time.  But health is really a complex matter, and involves so many factors, and I have been studying it for so long.

Baguio

Wednesday, March 28, 2018

This trip was very spur of the moment.  I tended to be very spontaneous back then, and it usually did not pay off well for me, especially regarding decisions that steered my life's direction.

But for trips that came out of the blue, there was at least one good outcome in that it provided content for the blog.

I have since mellowed over the years, but still give in to some things I feel impassioned about.

And I never did re-visit Baguio.  Maybe again, one day.



Old School

Wednesday, March 28, 2018

One thing I noticed about myself -- I seem to value or hang onto the past, and sometimes a bit too much, to the point that it detrimentally affects me.  There are examples of these negative outcomes throughout my life.

But on this particular day, it was harmless.  I was just re-visiting an old school; although out of all my classmates, I am probably the only one to have done this.  Because frankly, this likely does not mean much to others.  Yet somehow or for some reason, I seem to cling on to simple memories.



Vulcanize

Wednesday, March 28, 2018

This is how quite a few posts came about.  Because I was usually low on money, basically, I would just walk in the nearby areas, and observe the life and goings-on around me.

Also, a good portion of the people in this area during this time were still fairly friendly and approachable, unlike my most recent experience in that area.



Friday, March 16, 2018

Jungle

Friday, March 16, 2018

We are all in a jungle, a deceptive and ruthless environment where most are out to get you and only a rare few actually care.  There's a constant struggle for power and survival, with predators and parasites abound, preying on your vulnerabilities.

Sometimes you find what you believe to be havens, but you are actually never truly safe.  In fact, these moments of calm are when you get damaged the most.  When you do not anticipate the blow is when you suffer the greatest.