Kryptonite

Tuesday, September 8, 2020

Some have asked whether I am still alive.  Yes, I am.  I have just been trying to focus as I deal with things, and I tend to stay quiet and try to manage with all that I carry on my shoulders, so as not to affect others.  But, there are times when there is a lot to bear.  It has not been a very good year for me, but I do my best to channel my energy towards positive and constructive things.

I have been walking a lot recently; almost every day.  I guess it's something I just habitually do when I've been feeling uneasy and don't know what else to do.  It does nothing to directly help, but it is nice to sweat and get some sun.  Plus, depending on what you encounter, it can sometimes open your eyes to your surroundings to make you realize that there are many others with their own set of problems.

I saw a man holding up a sign that asked for help--stating that he is 65 years old, weak, sick, hungry, and trying to survive.  I've seen so many beggars that sometimes I don't fully recognize their unique situation anymore, unless they are really in physically bad shape; but to read the words on that man's sign--it was a sharp reminder that there are many who are living with no shelter and don't know when their next meal will come, or if they will still be alive next week.

It got me thinking that some of us may be troubled by what we feel may be major problems, when really they aren't; like for example--mere boredom.  Perhaps some consider this to be a problem, but I have learned that this is not really an issue about the circumstances, but more of a self-made issue due to lack of perspective, direction, and/or creativity.  I am certain that many would love to be in that "problematic" state that some call boredom, myself included.  The only time I can see boredom as being unpleasant is if you happen to be in prison.  Otherwise, to me boredom is a pleasant and temporary situation, because it is a comfortable time when you finally get to do what you want to do, instead of what you have to do; so please cheer up and try to make the most out of it.

Deprive yourself of food, water, a bed to rest on, or walls and a roof to protect you from the elements; then one might be able to empathize a bit better with those you see struggling.  How about the convenience of an electric fan, a shower, or a toilet?  Compound that with other possible problems that could happen in such a state--like aching teeth, fatigue/exhaustion, body pains, and underlying diseases.

Expand that scope to include animals, and there is a much ruthless reality.  I saw some pigs being crammed and hauled off in a truck, and I couldn't help but feel sympathy.  Their sad eyes stared out, filled with distress, uncertainty, and some of them, resignation; perhaps knowing that no one would be able to save them from the dark fate to come.

It's sad to see upright and uncorrupted souls suffering when there are cancers thriving at the expense of society.  If you wonder why I term them as cancer, it is because in a similar manner, cancer cells eat us alive by stealing.  They steal nutrients from normal cells, invade other tissues/organs, and just continue to abnormally grow in size.  And it hurts me when these tumors affect those who I care about.

If only I could identify and locate them, so that I could take things into my own hands and unleash a different kind of pain upon them.  What fun, stress-relief, and fulfillment it would be--I though to myself--to be the superman that helps the needy, frees the pigs, and beats the living hell out of the world's "cancer cells"--that is, if I could find them.  Similar to real cancer cells, they are tricky and like to hide.  Indeed, we do live in a world of fools, breaking us down.  Yes they may steal and cause trouble, but we should remember not to also let them take away our hope, togetherness, and positive spirit.  Because without those, we've let them win already.