Monsoon

Thursday, June 14, 2018

Wave after wave, the rains slam down.  There are times, where you believe clear skies are finally ahead, only to be shocked that you were dead wrong.  In fact it is during these times, where you may lower your guard somewhat, that the blow knocks you down and hurts the most.

Unfortunately, some people don't get back up or survive the ravaging from the typhoons of bad times and depression.

Anthony Bourdain was one of those.  It is said that after the dissolution of his marriage and family, along with what is thought to be the final blow of his last girlfriend cheating on him, is when he finally caved in.  Rumored drugs and drinking, though perhaps anesthetic for his painful world, were only temporary relief and did not provide lasting help.

Elvis Presley was never the same after Priscilla.  Along with turning to drugs, seclusion, and over-eating of comfort food, to help him cope with his situation, he never recuperated and it was a steady  collapse that led to a dark, lonesome period and untimely death.

We all react differently.  Some turn to drugs and alcohol.  Some turn to food.  Some turn to others for help and company.  I tend to seek relative seclusion and self-punishment, and I tend to lose my appetite.

We all don't get out unscathed.  Some don't make it out.  But others, fortunately, are able to evade doom.  Though almost all end up with scars, many lose parts of themselves, and because of that, most are never the same.

The aforementioned are reactions and results, but what is less clear, is why?  Why the inability to cope and to accept...  I am sure deep down, there is a biochemical reason.  That is also perhaps why drugs, alcohol, food, and other substances help, albeit temporarily.

But why the skew or fluctuations in our biochemical states?  I believe it is due to tendency, from genetics and from environment (after all, a stressful environment obviously makes us more prone, while a less stressful one elicits the opposite).  And a less than ideal nutritional state, compounds the problem.

That is, perhaps, the microscopic view, in my current opinion.  At the macro level, the reasons can manifest with more diversity, as unfortunate events can vary from person to person and can depend on specific environments.  Betrayal, deception, loss, maltreatment, cruelty, etc. are just some possible reasons that could induce extreme anxiety/fear/stress upon us.

Personally, I am experiencing a combination of all of those reasons I just mentioned (and more).  Fortunately, I don't take drugs, alcohol, and other degrading substances, so that has helped in not causing any more extra damage to my mentality and physical health.

But some end issues remain, like inability to cope and accept.  Some move away and start anew once a calamity strikes.  I tend to stand my ground and refuse to give up, no matter how brutal the battering or how grim the outlook.  This, as I am well aware of, is a monstrous problem.