Odyssey | noun | od•ys•sey | \ ˈä-də-sē \
1 : a long wandering or voyage usually marked by many changes of fortune
2 : an intellectual or spiritual wandering or quest
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Monday, August 22, 2022


Stabs in the back are painful, and even more, disheartening or even devastating when it is someone you trust who starts to connive with others, against you or for your demise.  A mere insult from others, if liked or agreed upon by the one who matters to you, or perhaps if they should even laugh along with them instead of coming to your defense, is just something that morphs into sharper and more damaging forms of betrayal over time -- "bullets" you never see coming.

Saturday, February 05, 2022


I am not enchanted by money, the famous, or big names.  Neither filthy rich billionaires, powerful politicians, nor glamorous stars leave me in awe.  Nothing does.  If you know the meaning of life, if you know the secrets of the universe, if you know a "fountain of youth," if you know why life has to be taken away after it's been given, or what comes after; then I'd be interested.  Otherwise, you are no different than me, mortal.  And no matter what you may have, we're all just dust in the end.

Sunday, June 06, 2021

Love and Spirit

Sunday, June 6, 2021

I sometimes lie awake in bed, having a hard time sleeping.  Eyes closed, but thoughts run through my mind, segments of my life flashing before my eyes.  From various periods and places, even memories from long ago, as early as I can remember during childhood and growing up.  Some are from events of the present.  And some are fears of the future, because even as much as we may try, it inevitably leads to bleeding, metaphorically speaking.  And because it can't be predicted, that uncertainty of not knowing when or what things will happen can be heavy to bear.

Saturday, January 16, 2021


Saturday, January 16, 2021

I should have been getting some rest, with never-ending work to do.  But for some reason, I had the yearn to take an aimless walk, something I had not done in a while.  As I walked the dim streets, it seemed as though I may have been the only one out wandering with no particular purpose, except perhaps to reflect.  Reflect upon my meaning, or lack of.  Where is life meant to lead us?  Why do I do the things I do?  Does what I do matter in the bigger scheme of things?

Memories flash in the dark.  Older times, younger times.  The joys of being a child I did not realize back then.  Innocent and unaware of the pain and complications to be endured as an adult.  During our youth, we are so full of potential, yet it is rarely maximized.  The hope continues growing up, until the energy wanes, deterioration and disappointments set in, and we realize that perhaps life may not be as significant as we once believed.  And there comes a certain point, where we finally see that we've reached the phase where things begin to dip, like sinking into quicksand.

Friday, September 18, 2020


Friday, September 18, 2020

Stress has been getting the better of me lately.  It preoccupies my mind, day and night, even while I work.  And when I am able to sleep, it sometimes infiltrates my dreams.  It has disrupted my routine, day-to-day life, and positive momentum.  Essentially, it has placed pressure on all parts of my existence, that it is gradually pulling me into a vacuum; imploding me into a black hole of insanity, unless provoked into a raging supernova.  Neither of which I desire, but I am here on the cusp, though every passing day I am hoping for a return to stability and normalcy.

Tuesday, September 08, 2020


Tuesday, September 8, 2020

Some have asked whether I am still alive.  Yes, I am.  I have just been trying to focus as I deal with things, and I tend to stay quiet and try to manage with all that I carry on my shoulders, so as not to affect others.  But, there are times when there is a lot to bear.  It has not been a very good year for me, but I do my best to channel my energy towards positive and constructive things.

Wednesday, November 13, 2019

Dreaming of You

Wednesday, November 13, 2019

I wake up, back in this dreary world.  The curtains shut, with only faint light coming in; I can't tell if it's still day or night now, but there is no reason to check, so I don't bother getting up.  I was looking through photographs earlier, when my mind began to race away, re-visiting old memories.  Swept away into a trance that I did not want to leave, my mind adamantly kept on with its recollections until my eyes gradually closed, perhaps hoping my reminiscing would continue on in my dreams...

Sunday, November 03, 2019


Sunday, November 3, 2019

This illness is passing, but it has left me lethargic, nauseated, and devoid of all energy.  It seems to have sucked out the motivation, appetite, and pleasant mood out of me.  Not only that, but it has left me shaken in some way (and sometimes literally shaking/jittery inside), where I can't seem to avoid thinking bad thoughts and sleep has not been restful.  There is this sense of impending doom, and it has been disturbing me.  Exercise used to help me a little in such situations, but this time, I just don't have the energy.  Instead, I decided to go for a stroll and visit a familiar place that has some hustle-and-bustle I could hopefully absorb a little of.

Wednesday, October 30, 2019

Still Sick

Wednesday, October 30, 2019

Almost a week now, and I'm still not feeling well.  I'm losing a bit of weight, as I have not been able to eat much, since there is no one around.  When I am not so busy with work, I think I will need to get some lab tests done at the hospital since other symptoms have cropped up in the past couple of days, particularly a deep, dry cough and heart/chest discomfort.

Sunday, October 27, 2019


Sunday, October 27, 2019

There is no one around, and I have been sick for three days straight and counting, with fever that has not yet gone back to normal temperature, bone/joint pains, achy muscles, excruciating lower back/kidney pain, migraine, eye pain/sensitivity to light, and inability to stay upright for very long.  It is one of the worst I've felt, if not the worst, in terms of pain from a fever-accompanied illness.  Fortunately, my friend Orlan has been looking after me throughout this time; otherwise, I'm not sure what would have happened as I don't think I would have been able to obtain food.  I've been trying to eat some liver, as I'm not sure where to obtain soup-based food that is not prepared with MSG.  Maybe someone has some ideas.  I'd like to avoid taking any medicine if possible, but the work week is about to start again, so I may have to.  We'll see.

Tuesday, October 15, 2019


Tuesday, October 15, 2019

Try as I may, I am having a hard time focusing these days (months, actually... almost half a year now, and it just keeps twisting and piling up).  There is a deep sadness and disappointment that clouds over me as I ponder upon life...  You try your best and give it your all, but life just doesn't seem to reciprocate, sometimes bringing you the opposite, and even hitting you from all sides.  It's a disheartening paradox; you cannot even fathom.  Only God knows (or maybe he doesn't) how I'm still, relatively, here.

Friday, August 30, 2019

Heart of the Earth

Friday, August 30, 2019

I have not been feeling my best and luck has not been going my way, but my mind is still fairly intact and my body is somehow still holding up -- enough so that I had the energy today to go on a long walk to meditate.

Sunday, June 30, 2019


Sunday, June 30, 2019

I have not been feeling well lately.  My eating has not been substantial for the past few days, and sleep has not been restful.  I have a pounding headache, and my back is killing me.  Makes me feel like an old man at times.  But at the end of the day, rain or shine (or super typhoons), I've got to do my very best to remain level-headed and try to keep up with work, even when feeling down.

Wednesday, April 24, 2019

Walking to the End of the Earth

Wednesday, April 24, 2019

I've had a string of bad luck lately that have gotten me feeling down.  But interestingly, earthquakes struck the past couple of days, and they have given me some perspective, that I should still be thankful.  Grateful that I'm alive and healthy, and appreciative of what I have.

Monday, April 15, 2019

Fever and Night's Solitude

Sunday, April 14, 2019

I went out on a past-midnight walk/run, wanting to break a sweat and shake off this deep cough.  The night's solitude and the fever were temporarily therapeutic, partly dissipating thoughts that were occupying my mind.

Thursday, February 21, 2019

Binangonan - Kalbaryo

Thursday, February 21, 2019

Well, it's been a while.  Thank you to all who remembered me and greeted me a happy birthday last month, as well as to those who have sent messages regarding my inactivity for the past several months.  I guess I've been busy, with work and other things.  And I've been battling some ongoing health issues.

I don't know why motivation to update the blog suddenly blew my way, despite being so busy and tired.  I guess I've always tended to gravitate towards the blog when there's no one else to talk to.  Maybe in a way, I'm talking to myself, and in another way, I'm channeling my energy towards something that I used to really enjoy doing and something that's somewhat positive and creative.

Today, or yesterday I should say, I took a trip to U.P. Diliman to visit my old friend Simon.  It was last Summer since I last visited him.  I found him, his daughter, and his flower shop there still doing well.  I know he's always busy now with his family and his business, but I tried to convince him to go on a small adventure, like we used to.  Problem was, no one was available to take care of his daughter, Hope.  So, we decided, we'd take her with us :)

Thursday, July 05, 2018


Thursday, July 5, 2018

I wrote an article a few years back, entitled "The Wind and the Fire".  I spoke metaphorically about an inspirational time in my life.  I was the fire.  And the wind had breathed new motivation in me.  Yet, over the years, the caressing breeze and harmony turned into violent storms and tornadoes.  Regardless, the fire in me was able to withstand, albeit barely at times, all the torrential havoc.

Thursday, June 14, 2018


Thursday, June 14, 2018

Wave after wave, the rains slam down.  There are times, where you believe clear skies are finally ahead, only to be shocked that you were dead wrong.  In fact it is during these times, where you may lower your guard somewhat, that the blow knocks you down and hurts the most.

Unfortunately, some people don't get back up or survive the ravaging from the typhoons of bad times and depression.

Old House

Thursday, June 14, 2018

This post has a melancholy feel to it, for me.  Particularly because my grandmother has memories living and working at this place.  And today it is like a skeleton of its former self, so devoid of life.  It makes me wonder what it was like during its prime.  But more, it makes me regret that period of time has gone and is no more.  It is now just a memory, living only in the mind of my grandmother, and those she has told her stories to, such as myself.

Friday, June 01, 2018


Friday, June 1, 2018

A few weeks ago, I met this Aeta in Subic.  We made a fire together using just bamboo.  He may look silly in this photo, but he has a lot of admirable traits.

He is proud of who he naturally is.  He has not forgotten where he came from, and how he got to where he is today.  He understands the value of hard work.  And whatever I could offer, he genuinely showed appreciation.  These are some qualities that earn my respect.

Unfortunately, most of those who encircle me do not share the same perspectives or appreciation for good principles; and my influence, for whatever reason, is weak upon them, if not countered or ignored completely.  Oftentimes, my say is worthless.

Wednesday, May 23, 2018


Wednesday, May 23, 2018

(Tagalog and English versions below)

May gusto ako sabihin na makasakaling makatulong sa iba.  Lahat tayo ay merong mga kahinaan, at alam ko yung sa akin.  Isa sa mga kahinaan ko ay yung inklinasyon na saktan ang sarili (na ngayon ay bihira ko na gawin, dahil malinaw naman na hindi ito mabuti para sa atin, kaso nga lang ito ay nangangailangan ng matibay na kalooban para iwasan).  At gusto kong gumawa ng ilang mga paglilinaw tungkol dito sa pag-asa na makakatulong ito sa iba.

Hindi lahat ng nananakit ng sarili ay pareho, at may magkakaibang mga dahilan. Hindi lahat ay baliw at hindi lahat ay gusto magpakamatay.

Monday, May 21, 2018


Monday, May 21, 2018

Hindi ako ganung kasamang tao para marapat ang lahat ng sakit, paghihirap, kalupitan, at walang pusong pagtatrato.  Umiiyak at sumisigaw ako, nagmamakaawa at humihingi ng saklolo, pero walang nakakarinig.  Kaya alam ko walang Diyos.

Ang ibig sabihin ng pangalan kong "David Eric" ay "minamahal na hari", pero hindi ako minamahal at hindi rin ako hari.  Wala akong halaga.  Anyway, ayaw ko ng kausap, ayaw ko ng tulong, gusto ko lang mapag-isa.  Sinasabi ko ito, dahil hindi ko alam kung kailan ako makakapag-post ulit.

Friday, May 04, 2018

Flowers at Dangwa

Friday, May 4, 2018

Simon's sister had passed away, and so Simon, Hope (Simon's daughter), and I visited the Dangwa fresh flower market to purchase some flowers for the funeral at Ilocos Norte.

I don't really know what to write about for this post.  A few things popped into my mind, like:  how flowers are just instruments used for attraction and selfish means for plants;  how there is potentially no afterlife and we should have utmost value for this life so as not to screw up this one shot;  how we should heed warnings and signs because full-fledged major mistakes can leave scars in our lives that cannot be undone and could potentially be crippling or fatal (if not for our lives, also for relationships and other aspects);  how things are more genuine and simpler when money or material is not involved;  how a bunch of flowers cannot really solve problems;  how some flower stems have thorns and poison;  how some people cannot or will not understand because they care more about themselves than they do for you;  how I'm just smiling for the camera when in reality I've been having a bad few weeks...  Lots of things.  But I'm not really in the mood to write about any of these in more detail at the moment.

The Dump Site

Friday, May 4, 2018
Apart from touring the dump site, the walk I took on this day was a pleasant one.  This was in the middle of the rainy season, and it had just rained a couple of hours before.  It was relatively cool with enough clouds to provide enough shade, but not too gray for it to turn gloomy.

The photograph I took of the white gumamela/hibiscus flower with the dew/droplets of water is one of my favorites.  In a way, I like to think of it as symbolic, perhaps of the peace, serenity, purity, and innocence of that time period.  There are some moments you can no longer return to, and you cannot transfer the state to the present time either, no matter how much you'd like to.  Once ruined, sometimes ruined forever.

Wednesday, April 18, 2018


Wednesday, April 18, 2018

It's funny how years ago I had so little money, but so much time to myself.  And now, I find myself close to the other end of the spectrum, where I am doing better in terms of my career, but don't have enough time to really enjoy myself.

It was a rare occasion on this day to get some extra time to myself and to be able to go out beyond my normal vicinity of travel.  Disappointingly, it had to take an undesirable crisis for it to happen, but that's another story.

Coconuter Flowers and Gifts

Wednesday, April 18, 2018

For those who have been readers of the blog since close to the beginning, you may recall my good friend Simon.  Well, I am proud to say that he now runs a flower shop business, and he named his business after what started our friendship--Coconuter.

The Forest

Wednesday, April 18, 2018

As you read through some of my posts, you will notice that I sometimes inject commentary regarding health.  I am still health-conscious today, and it's been quite a journey of what I've learned through the years.  I remember during the time of this post, I was experimenting with certain foods available in the area (and observing their effects on me), one of which was raw carabao's milk, which I would wake up early in the morning for, in order to purchase from a nearby market.

I would also often go into the forest and nearby mountains to gather fruit that I would find.  For example, mangoes, langka/jackfruit, suha/grapefruit, pineapples, papayas, and of course, coconuts!

I was such a proponent of the natural state of things, that you will read below that I recommended drinking water from streams.  Well, opinions and theories change, and mine regarding this topic has also.  Though natural water sources are typically a good source of minerals, I would take caution or avoid drinking directly from them, because pollution and toxins are so rampant these days; plus you want to be careful about microbes in the water as well.

Ploughing the Fields

Wednesday, April 18, 2018

Despite the mishap regarding the theft, these were still some relatively good times.  I was enjoying myself, despite the circumstances.  The environment in general was still new to me for the most part.  The charm of the countryside still alluring, and it remains so for me even today;  I just can't live there anymore, because I have to work, as well as other complications, which can happen over time as life proceeds to become complex as we grow older.

The Mountain Village

Wednesday, April 18, 2018

I was quite fortunate to have gotten my digital camera back, and only in a matter of days.  But I was even more fortunate that I was not harmed during the theft, as the thieves were reportedly known in the area for carrying guns.

As I look back, I think it was also around this time when my naivety gradually started to dissolve, and my view of the people around began to worsen drastically.  I would become short-tempered and it would not be uncommon for me to confront and explode on locals whom I thought were trying to fool me or harm me.  To this day, that I write this entry, I am still the same way--pent up with frustrations and a lot of anger from years of ill happenings.

Bad Things Have Happened

Wednesday, April 18, 2018

I still remember the night this happened.  I never thought it could happen and never experienced something like this, so it was completely unanticipated.

It was past midnight--the exact time I can no longer recall--but I was just sleeping, like any other regular night in the bukid/countryside.  But this was not like any other night.  My senses detected a foreign sound interjecting with the normal solo hum of the electric fan.